The last time I met Sharukh Khan wasn’t a great one. I was waiting for my order at a restaurant when Sharukh entered from the back door holding a sugarcane in one hand and eating a banana with the other. To my surprise, Sharukh came dressed shabbily in bell-bottom jeans with a hole in the back.
When the waiter came over, Sharukh hit him on the head with the cane and knocked him down while asking everyone to clap. Then he grabbed the manager by his collar, slapped him ruthlessly and scratched his chin.
After that, Mr. Khan grabbed a bottle of whiskey, broke it in half and challenged the customers for a dual. When nobody turned up, he grabbed an old lady in a wheelchair and started beating her mercilessly and dragged her by hair around the restaurant. When her husband, an old man came to rescue her, Sharukh turned towards him and bit off his left ear. When the man screamed in pain, Mr. Khan hit him with the sugarcane breaking it in half and knocked him out.
While everyone gasped in horror, Sharukh took off his shirt to show his muscles, revealing his hairy chest. He sniffed his armpit, made an awful face, grabbed the room-freshener and sprayed it under his armpit as everyone gaped stunned in an embarrassed silence.
Shortly afterward, He climbed on the table and started dancing “It’s the time to disco” by thrusting his pelvis like a retard. He got down and collected Rs. 1000 each from everyone saying that his dance number is a superhit one, and therefore, it can’t be for free.
Then he attempted to do a back somersault and hit his back on the chair and slammed his face mouth-first on the floor. When everyone laughed, he, raged with fury, snatched the gun from the security guard and fired it at the customers.
A moment later he turned towards the donation box, broke it open and took all the change. He shoved back in tissue papers.
Right after that, he put his hand inside the fish tank, grabbed a golden fish, burned it with his lighter and swallowed it alive while shouting “I found Nemo, haha, and it tastes good.”
After that, he grabbed a bowl of soup from a customer, poured it on the manager’s coat and said: “wash with the tide.” as he laughed like a demon.
When he saw my iPhone, he came towards me saying: “I also have iPhone.” Just then, his black and white Vodafone mobile fell from the hole in his back pocket to which he quickly responded: “that’s not mine.”
In the blink of an eye, Sharukh grabbed my iPhone and ran towards the exit not realizing it was a glass door. He slammed his face into the solid glass and blacked out. While he was still unconscious, I got back my phone.
Sharukh was immediately rushed to the nearby hospital by the local cops
Seriously, Sharukh, stop being a douche.